Work with me
Funeral Celebrancy
I offer compassionate, non-sectarian and creative funeral services, that celebrate the life of the person who has died, and honour the family and friends present.
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Death Doula
What is a death doula? You will have heard of the role of a midwife, helping a mother in the process of giving birth. A death doula is similar yet at the opposite end of life’s spectrum - helping someone in the process of dying, or the family of such a person. Yet it is not a medical role - that is left to the medical professionals - but a role of emotional, psychological and even spiritual support for the dying person.
We can often feel confused, lost, berefit, mis-heard or mis-understood when dying. All of the usual certainties are falling away and we’re entering into a new territory altogether. While family, friends and medical professionals can offer a valuable role, the role of a death doula is to provide perhaps a missing link. The doula is someone with the training, experience, practical knowhow and depth of humanity, who can ‘walk with’ a person who is facing death.
A doula can help you plan your death, including the requisite paperwork and necessary advocacy. In addition, a doula can support the dying person, and their family, in navigating the dying process, providing a quality of listening, understanding, and humane support.
I have been trained as a death doula by Alexandra Derwen in Snowdownia. She is both a pioneer and inspiration in the doula and celebrant field. It would be a privilege for me to offer this death doula service to you. .
Grief Circles
Grief is universal. Grief is the other side of Love. To be fully human, to open to the priceless gift of love, we also need to be willing to open to grief.
We sometimes think that grief is something we have to endure only when we lose someone close to us, either through death or separation. While this is true, grief emcompases something much greater. Grief can also arise for the pain of the Earth and all its creatures; for all the unfulfilled, unmet or unheard parts of ourself; and for the inevitable losses, or transitions of our life.
I have been trained in the work of a ‘grief-tender’ by Francis Weller, the author of the beautiful book - The Wild Edge of Sorrow. A grief tender is someone who supports, honours and bears witness to both personal and collective grief, knowing that within the grief lies something sacred - the promise of healing, of renewal, and opening to life once more.
I will be co-facilitating grief circles in Brecon, along with my colleague, Heather Dickens, starting on Wednesday December 6th 2023 from 6.30-8.30pm. These circles will be free of charge, and will run along the following lines:
Welcome - to everyone as they are
A context and understanding will be given to the practice/ work of grief
Sharing within smaller circles
Simple rituals to tap into our own grief and allow it expression
Integration and closing.
Most of us suppress our grief. Societal messages tell us to put on a brave face, ‘to get over it’ and don’t show vulnerability. As a result, we hide away our grief, and it eats away at us from deep within. This may be one of the reasons for the increased mental health and addiction issues of our time. Grief circles help to normalise grief, remind us that we’re not ‘alone’, give and receive support from others and find a new perspective on grief that can also open us to gratitude and even joy once again. You will be most welcome to join us.
Death Cafes
A death cafe is simply a group of people gathering over a cup of tea, or equivalent, and perhaps a biscuit or cake, to talk openly and honestly about death and dying. For far too long talking about death has been seen as morbid; death itself has been long relegated to the shadow. Yet death is in the midst of life, and the more we can be at ease with death, and the transiency of life, the less we fear it and the more we can learn to appreciate this transitory life.
Death cafe is a worldwide movement, seeking to bring death into the mainstream - see the deathcafe website for more details.
I helped co-facilitate a death cafe in Llandovery in late 2022 into early 2023, and will be co-facilitating a death cafe in Cwmdu Inn near Talley, Llandeilo, starting on Tuesday evening November 21st 2023. It is free of charge, open to all who wish to openly talk about their experiences of death in a welcoming friendly environment over a cup of tea.
Feel free to contact me for more details, and you’ll be welcome to come along for a friendly gathering and to learn more about it.
